Andrea James

Weng Weng Rap lyrics

Weng Weng Rap” is a tribute to the greatest film action hero of all time.

I have grabbed the lyrics from the Chuds’ site and transcribed the dialogue of the epic rap song by The Chuds here for those who wish to learn it by heart.

WENG WENG RAP

Weng Weng, I love you my Weng Weng

Come to me and kiss me, I love you Weng Weng!

[Musical intro.]

[Secretary]: Agent Double-0! Hi! (laughs) Oh, you sweet little man! Mmmm-mmmm. Wow, you’re really my idol, you know. You’re making me fall for you! I can’t help it!

[Weng Weng’s boss]: Agent Double-0, come on inside before you bust a blood vessel.

[Weng Weng]: INTERPOL here.

Eh yo, we good to go?

hell yeah, it’s agent 00

Don’t want no trouble though,

so you best to put your weapon down slow

Keep your hands low down so he can see them

Don’t put them up high, he’s a tiny human being

Guaranteeing security to Filipino citizens

It’s all the same thing to Weng Weng

Guilty, innocent

He’s got his own style, he’s got a cute little smile

In fact one time he even got picked up by a pedophile

But kill that, he’s skilled at

the art of attack

He got a razor blade hat, a little gat

and a rocket pack

He doesn’t like booze

so never pour him a shot of scotch

Just give him a Coke

and you won’t get a pop in the crotch

His movies you love to watch,

you know that they all sweet

Weng Weng is doing his thang thang

under three feet

They say that he’s wack, that he’s weak

Ehyo, you know what?

Just say that in the Philipines and watch out for the bowl cut.

Weng Weng, I love you my Weng Weng

Come to me and kiss me, I love you Weng Weng!

Weng Weng, I love you my Weng Weng

Come to me and kiss me, I love you Weng Weng!

You’re in the gettaway car,

‘cause you just finished a heist

got through the SWAT, lots of cops

so you’re thinking you’re nice

Mastermind, genius-thief

you think you already own the title

from behind you hear the wine

of a mini-motorcycle

It rolls up quick with 2’6

of trouble on top

he shoots a look, crooks get shook

and you could feel your heart stop

The kinda man that could chill you right down to your soul

he shouts “Pull over to the side of the road, I’m interpol”

Best oblige, and subside

‘cause if not you’re sure to die

by a bo staff to the gonads

or a sai in your eye

Try and flip the script

if he’s outnumbered and underhanded

he’s outstanding, he could jump the Grand Canyon and land it

A mini bandit, fighting for justice, he’ll never lose

finest barbers and tailors

you know he’s always lookin’ smooth

He’ll take you out without a doubt,

boom bing and bang bang

My advice to criminals is

“Stay the fuck away from Weng Weng.”

Weng Weng, I love you my Weng Weng

Come to me and kiss me, I love you Weng Weng!

Weng Weng, I love you my Weng Weng

Come to me and kiss me, I love you Weng Weng!

[Crime boss]: Weng Weng is gonna put us out of business!

Weng Weng Weng Weng 2’9

He’ll kick you in the nutsack from behind

If you think Weng Weng is coming soft or slack

Never that, never that, never that, he’s

Back on the scene it’s the man

who just cash cheques and have sex

he’s seen your mamma nekkid with his high tech mod specs

Burst in hotel rooms never givin’ a shit

if he sees a naked bitch, best belive she get a tender kiss

After bustin’ some heads, ya’ll could catch him at the disco

Rockin’ upskirts and clockin’ more thongs than Cisqo

Stayin’ alive is no jive, when he dance, the woman cry

They get hypnotized by his hips swayin’ side to side

These fake secret agents try to front but the get played

Weng Weng could pierce Brosnan with a katana blade

Leave you in the hospital

your condition is critical,

You’re finished bro, even the doctors sound a little cynical

[Hot lady] You’re such a little guy, though. Very petite, like a potato.

[Weng Weng] Yeah.. let’s go.

Eh yo, I’ll tell you what. That Weng Weng? He’s a stone-faced killer. I mean criminals ain’t got no shot against him, why even try?

Weng Weng, I love you my Weng Weng

Come to me and kiss me, I love you Weng Weng!

[Guy in pool]: Hey everybody look, hey! Look, hey! I can’t believe what happened! It’s a boy! Hey! What happened?  I can’t believe it! Where did he come from? Whoa, pretty boy, mmmm, yeah! Aren’t you a pretty boy? Handsome, too! Oh yes, yes…

[Musical outro.]

Song by The Chuds

http://www.myspace.com/chudsunderground

Video cut by John R of R Room

R Room

Props to Weng Weng: RIP

(Interstitial dialogue transcribed by Jokestress)

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